I Scold My Kids Like Dr. Seuss

mess2

Each day it is a struggle as a parent to get your kids to keep things clean. Even when they mean well – like learning how to cook (to help out) – it ends in disaster because they make a gigantic mess. Do you know how hard it is to get chocolate stains out of curtains? No – I’m not kidding.

As much as I wish I could be using my imagination on this one – it is entirely true. Everyone says, wow – you have so much help because you have girls. I say, “Good luck to you. You’re going to need it.” I love my girls to pieces – I also have a wonderful little boy – but I tell you – my girls are just not the neat and tidy types. I don’t think I have selective memory – but sometimes I wonder – was I like that when I was younger? I just don’t remember. Anyway – if I was a slob too – then I guess there’s still hope for them after all!

This poem is inspired by entirely true events. I can’t help it – I love my kids so much I want to memorialize their antics in front of the world. But beware – because someday they just might turn around and write about me!

Sometimes I am a writer
but others think I’m strange
I scold my kids like Dr. Seuss
and that shall never change.

Dr. Seuss – I’ve loved his stories
I’ve loved his use of rhyme
so strange – when I get angry
I use it all the time.

On any day, it sounds the same
the argument is true
My children never clean their mess
Now mama, why don’t you?

Their room is just too messy
They ask, “what should we do?
Well, perhaps you should just clean it,
Yes – I am talking to you!”

Their toys are on the floor now
and clothes hang on the door
You’d think they’d want to tidy
but they just pile on some more.

My kids I love them dearly
and this I know is true
despite their constant messes,
I know they love me too.

Perhaps this is some skill set
that all young kids require
but cleaning is the only skill
I wish they would acquire.

Again, I bend down slowly
to clean toys off the floor
and I know they are somewhere
messing all I’ve cleaned before.

I’m tired and I’m lazy
I just want to shout
All these messes you are making
are going to wear me out!

Now mom, just sit here calmly
there’s something you must see
we’ve made you something special
it’s our own recipe!

A gooey, chocolate brownie
now sat upon my plate
in stress, I yearned to eat it
I didn’t want to wait.

With mouthful, I just sat there
not sure of what to do
should I spit or swallow
this brown, gelatinous goo?

At first, it was too salty
and then it tasted sweet
but overall it was uncooked
my salted chocolate treat.

I tried hard not to swallow
but what else could I do
In one whole gulp, I ate it
I made sure not to chew.

Took my plate to the kitchen
I couldn’t eat more
but the moment I got there
my jaw dropped to the floor.

Each dish was now dirty
no counter was bare
and globs of brown goo
were splashed everywhere.

The blender was broken
my white stove’s now black
I think now I’ve had
my first heart attack!

Some say that I’m crazy
but you would be too
what would you do
if this happened to you?

My children are all messy
they drive me insane
and I scold in rhyme
to lessen the pain.

(C) SJ 2015 – for the mess makers in my life 😉

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9 thoughts on “I Scold My Kids Like Dr. Seuss

  1. Aww, this is so cute! I love it! 🙂
    And two of my younger sisters are kids who love to cook and experiment in the kitchen, so I completely understand. XD
    Your children sound adorable (despite their messiness, haha). =)

    Liked by 1 person

    • They are incredibly adorable actually. It helps that they are good cooks too. I’m sure in time it will get better.

      Glad to see they are young people or there still enjoying cooking! Thanks so much for stopping by!

      Like

      • =) That’s wonderful. May I ask how old they are? And, yes, I’m sure it will become much better in time. =)

        Aah, yes, sadly, I was never one of those people. My youngest sisters know how to cook more than I do. >.<;; And they are 13, and 9, whereas I'm in my early twenties. D:

        Liked by 1 person

  2. Great poem! If it’s any consolation, my daughters were the same and now my oldest has two of her own that follow in her footsteps. If we aren’t making a huge mess, we aren’t having fun. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Rainsharmin – for some reason I had a hard time getting my reply to work. I sometimes check comments on my phone and the app is horrible. Youngest boy is 4, girls are 8, 12, 14.

    Like

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