I know when I am not genuinely being myself. It is rare because I hate to be fake (in every aspect of my life, but especially in my writing). I wear my heart upon my sleeve – and yes, it can get painful sometimes. People often take advantage or think that you are weak. Many times – people just don’t understand and wonder why you bother to care so deeply. For me, it doesn’t matter. In my life I choose to feel every emotion – to let it swell within me and fall upon the page. I make no excuses for being who I am. It is where I thankfully dwell.
I really wasn’t being fake anyway – but I actually chose to write when I just didn’t want to. It’s not writer’s block – it is more like writing when the wind doesn’t sing to you as it blows through the trees. I guess I need to learn that it’s okay to step away and wait for the words to come – they need not be forced. There’s blessing in that. So, to make up for it – I have decided to share an older poem I wrote for my husband a few years back. He is truly my everything.
My heart aches not for dreams once laid
Past endeavors – chances missed
Those memories do quickly fade
Within a heart filled with bliss.
All that’s ever passed before
Every moment I have seen
Brought me to your open door
Filled lonely heart with thoughts serene.
While others look back with remorse
You’ll find no such feelings in my heart
My love – my heart knows no regrets
Wish I had known you from the start.
© S. J. 2013