APED – Prompt 26: Night Poems

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These poems was written for A Prompt Each Day, a daily dose of inspiration.  For today’s prompt – we were given a word (night) to inspire our writing.  This was a harder prompt than usual because it actually had a word limit – 33 words.  I ended up writing two poems based on this prompt.  One was shorter – but the other ended on the 33rd word.

 

After a bit of thought – I realized that while I liked some of the imagery in the second poem – it just wasn’t “singing” to me the way it should.  After some work – I have finally made it mine.  I know it went over the 33 word limit – but that’s just me – the one that doesn’t stop talking.  I’m sure you will see it is much improved over the earlier version.  I will keep both here so you can see what you think.

 

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The rising sun

Now rests it’s head

On mountain pillow lay

 

From slumber deep

Shall shine again

To start a brand new day.

 

© S. J. 2015

 


 

Darkness crawls upon the earth

Cool, black cat

In search of prey.

No corner left untouched

It hisses in the wind

Sneaks and pounces

Seizes light

In final slumber

Naps with outstretched feet.

 

© S. J. 2015

 


Here is the final version of the second poem.  I like it much better.

 

Darkness crawls upon the earth

A cool, black cat

In search of prey.

 

There’s no corner left untouched

Darkness follows

Hissing at the close of day.

 

Sneaks and pounces

Seizes light

And soon it’s job shall be complete.

 

Gently lurks to spread the night

Now tired – its rests

With outstretched feet.

 

© S. J. 2015

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17 thoughts on “APED – Prompt 26: Night Poems

    • I actually liked the second one better. However, after you said that I revisited the poem and realized it just wasn’t me. I think the word limit was hurting what I needed to express. I have reworked the poem – and now it works better for me. Have a look and let me know what you think.

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        • For me as well sometimes. I am learning more about how I write as I do these prompts. I have learned not to feel that rhyme is not as good as free verse for expressing myself. Truly my heart beats in rhyme. Not sure why but I should embrace it. The second aspect of my method is rhythm. I notice that when I don’t like one of my poems – I did not pay attention to the syllables in my writing. When I fix it – I like it much better. That’s why word limits can be hard. The rhythm often requires a few more words. Strange – I know, but I’ve never really analyzed my writing before. It is eye opening.

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          • I agree with you totally–having to limit words CAN throw off the rhythm; but it’s fun to keep writing, doing prompts, and learning more! And the poets are great people, as a rule!! 🙂

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  1. I agree with you. If it weren’t for the prompt – I would not have written that poem or many of the others posted here. They’ve truly inspired me. I just know that poem won’t work as well for me with fewer words. 😁

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